Relationships Aren’t Meant to Be Perfect, They’re Meant to Be Repaired

When conflict arises in a relationship, many people assume something has gone wrong. But what if conflict isn’t the problem, avoidance is?

In this episode of The Moon Collective Sanctuary Podcast, host Dr. Lydia Luna, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Moon Collective Sanctuary, is joined by Dr. Elenor Daneshvar, licensed clinician and relationship expert, for a grounded, honest conversation about intimacy, repair, sensuality, and what actually sustains long-term relationships.

Together, they unpack why conflict is inevitable, how resentment quietly erodes connection, and why true intimacy begins long before the bedroom.

Why Conflict Is Inevitable and Why That’s Not a Bad Thing

As Elenor shares, every relationship will experience conflict once the honeymoon phase ends. The difference between relationships that deepen and those that dissolve isn’t the absence of conflict, it’s the presence of repair.

“When resentment goes unspoken, it doesn’t disappear,” Elenor explains. “It accumulates and eventually it kills intimacy.”

Repair requires vulnerability, accountability, and the willingness to stay emotionally present even when it feels uncomfortable. Without it, unresolved resentment spills into emotional distance, disconnection, and loss of trust.

Why We’re Drawn to Our Opposites

Many of us unconsciously choose partners who challenge our default ways of being. A laid-back, Type B person may feel drawn to a structured, Type A partner at first, it feels complementary. Over time, those differences become pressure points.

But as Elenor explains, these moments of friction are invitations for growth.

Conflict becomes a crossroads:
👉 Will this difference bring us closer through understanding?
👉 Or pull us apart through avoidance and blame?

How couples navigate this determines whether the relationship evolves or fractures.

Intimacy Starts With How You Relate to Yourself

A central theme of this episode builds on a foundation explored in the previous conversation —that intimacy begins with how we relate to ourselves. Throughout the discussion, Elenor emphasizes that intimacy is cultivated through attunement, presence, and intentional relating. When two people remain whole individuals while consciously choosing partnership, intimacy becomes something that is built moment by moment through awareness, care, and shared meaning.

Foreplay Isn’t a Moment, It’s a Way of Being

In one of the episode’s most resonant reflections, Elenor reframes foreplay as something that begins at the start of the day not in the bedroom.

It’s in presence.
In eye contact.
In small gestures of affection.
In shared values, playfulness, and partnership.

Intimacy is cultivated through how couples move through daily life together — not just through sexual connection, but through emotional safety, curiosity, and shared meaning.

Final Reflections: Repair Is the Real Work

This episode offers a compassionate reminder: relationships don’t fail because they’re hard, they fail when people stop repairing, listening, and growing.

For anyone navigating intimacy, partnership, or long-term connection, this conversation offers clarity, relief, and grounded hope.

Meet the Guest: Dr. Eleanor Daneshvar, Psy.D.

Dr. Eleanor Daneshvar is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 12 years of experience supporting women, families, and individuals through trauma-informed, holistic mental health care. Her work integrates evidence-based psychology with mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and embodied healing, with a focus on intimacy, relationships, self-worth, and emotional resilience. Known for her warm, grounded, and deeply human approach, Dr. Daneshvar helps clients reconnect with their bodies, intuition, and authentic selves to create more meaningful relationships and lasting transformation.

Website: https://oneneuro.com/elenorbdaneshvar/

Instagram: @womens_mental_health

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenor-daneshvar-psy-d-330ba414/

Listen to the full episode of The Moon Collective Sanctuary Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Explore More
Visit mooncollectivesanctuary.com to explore holistic mental health services, upcoming events, and trauma-informed healing experiences. Follow along on social media @mooncollectivesanctuary for continued insight and inspiration.